


wanna come home to you

by silverjeno



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Childhood Friends, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, tw - college apps and academic stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 05:26:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17975282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverjeno/pseuds/silverjeno
Summary: - a glimpse into mark and donghyuck's relationship as they take a dip from childhood buddies to best friends to something more.- a character study but for markhyuck's relationship[ this is kinda me projecting tbh. it has mental health issues but that's not all it is. just saying. ]





	wanna come home to you

**Author's Note:**

> the title isn't really that specific to the story, I was just listening to troye while writing

_Lee Donghyuck is smiles. Warmth. Side hugs. Hip bumps. Running through an empty field. Youth._

[ February 27th ]

Mark decides to take Donghyuck out to the park near their college campus. He has been wanting to treat the boy to a nice day out after their exam week and today is the perfect day. The weather is splendid, the sky is clear blue, and there is the slightest breeze blowing that makes Mark want to take out his pair of fuzzy socks. 

What he hadn't expected was for Donghyuck to end up being chased by the geese near the pond, ending up with him running throughout the park, screaming at the top of his lungs as he runs towards an oblivious Mark who had been looking at a squirrel climbing up a tree - "I was trying to warn you about the geese so we could escape together!" - sending them both tumbling to the ground, much to the amusement of the kids in the playground. 

Mark is not very amused, though. His palms burn slightly and there are bits of dry grass stuck in the fuzz of his sweater. But Donghyuck has the brightest smile on his face as he laughs unapologetically, knees scraped and hair messed up in the wind. But happy. And Mark's heart warms over.

 

_Lee Donghyuck is clumsy. Messy. He is the box of colorful band aids on the top shelf of their bookshelf._

[ March 16th ]

Mark and Donghyuck are finally going to move in together. After years of sharing beds in their childhood homes, going on camping trips with their families, falling asleep on the couch in Mark's family's living room, and all those other shenanigans, they finally manage to save up enough to get a small apartment together as they start their postgraduate studies - a collective wish of the two best friends.

The two double beds in their single bedroom are much comfier than the dorm beds, and even though the purchase had costed them their dining table, both of them had agreed that it had been worth it. Plus, what would two 22 year old college students even need a dining table for?

The day they assemble their beds, Mark finishes his first and offers to help Donghyuck, but Donghyuck claims that Mark will ruin his 'masterpiece'. "It's just a plain bed, what's so artistically demanding of that?" Mark rolls his eyes as he exits the bedroom to go to work on organizing their kitchen. 

Only to run back ten minutes later when he hears Donghyuck yelp from the bedroom. When Mark enters the room, Donghyuck is sitting on the floor, holding his right index finger carefully and groaning in pain. 

"Mark, I squished it," he whines, and it takes Mark back to when they had been ten years old and Donghyuck had caught his finger in the hinge of a door when they had been playing hide and seek. Mark smiles as he remembers six year old Donghyuck pestering him to 'kiss it better' because that was what his dad always does and it worked every time. Mark had conceded of course. He always does.

Back in their apartment, Mark shuffles back to the living room to grab a band aid from their medicine cabinet. "That's such a boring looking band aid," Donghyuck complains as Mark wraps it around his finger for him. "It's a band aid, Hyuck," Mark deadpans. "What's it supposed to look like?" When Mark finishes putting the band aid on and he gets up to throw away the outer wrapping, Donghyuck calls, "Aren't you gonna kiss it better?"

So, just before he leaves the room, Mark leans down and kisses the top of Donghyuck's head gently. Then he wordlessly moves to the kitchen again, leaving Donghyuck a frazzled mess, wondering, "That's not even where I'm hurt."

In that same week, Donghyuck manages to get a papercut and a scratch from the sharp edge of the metal lid of a room freshener and they're running out of band aids. So, Donghyuck goes out and makes it his mission to find non-boring band aids, resulting in him hoarding a bunch of different ones - some are floral, some have emojis on them, some justy say 'oops!' in comic sans, of all fonts. Mark has to applaud him for his effort. 

 

_Mark Lee is stupid. He's lazy smiles on a Sunday morning. Quickened heartbeats. Long rants to Renjun about how 'I feel so weird and tingly when he's around'. Secret glances. And he's so, so oblivious._

[ April 2nd ]

Mark is cooking. Donghyuck isn't sure _what_ , but he's been staring for ages and if Mark hasn't noticed Donghyuck's unwavering gaze, he must be _really_ unobservant.

Donghyuck watches as Mark 'fixes the plating' and grabs some cutlery from the drawers, then heads to the couch with a plate of food in each hand. It feels awfully domestic and Donghyuck's heart has practically set up camp in his throat as Mark sits down next to Donghyuck on the floor. It's their 'thing', they always sit on the floor in front of the couch, choosing to lean against the front of the furniture instead of just sitting on the piece of furniture itself.

They watch Gone Girl just because it's on the television and they're too lazy to find something else.

"Do I look especially like a mess today, or something?" Mark asks as they quietly eat. Donghyuck quirks an eyebrow at him. "You keep glancing at me randomly," Mark shrugs. "If I look sick, I swear it's just cuz of that paper I was working on."

Oh. So apparently, Mark Lee isn't _that_ oblivious. 

Donghyuck has a snarky comment about Mark's visuals ready at the back of his throat, but he decides to bite it back, instead opting to be honest. "Nah, Lee Mark, you actually look pretty snazzy tonight."

Mark looks surprised and looks down at himself. He's wearing a pair of sweatpants that he's had since high school and a shirt that Donghyuck had actually bought for himself but had ended up giving to Mark because it was too big on him. 

Mark looks confused as he says "Thank you", Donghyuck laughs, and besides Mark murmuring 'snazzy' under his breath, it's as if nothing had happened at all.

 

_Donghyuck is wrong. Mark Lee is smart. He is random bursts of confidence. Charms. Wide grins. Fingers running through his hair. Late nights in. Just the two of them._

[ April 10th ]

Mark sends him a text at 6 o' clock, saying 'have a surprise but you're gonna have to stay in the bedroom till 8. wear something nice, yeah?'

Donghyuck is very confused, to say the least, and for no reason whatsoever, his heart's doing those stupid acrobatics that Jeno has been into lately. But he still does as he's told. He wears a well put together outfit and actually brushes his hair, then waits. 

He hears Mark come into the apartment at about 6:30 and hears a lot of movement in the living room. The sounds get him nervous, so he decides to grab his headphones and listen to some music and watch some youtube videos to pass the time and block the noise. As a result, he almost misses it when there's a knock on the bedroom door. "It's open!" he calls, but Mark just knocks again, so Donghyuck gets up to open the door himself.

When he pulls the door open, Mark Lee is standing there with a bouquet of... _Sunflowers_ and a sheepish grin. The lights in the living room are turned off but there are purple fairy lights _everywhere_. The whole place is drenched in a soft purple hue. Donghyuck can see two plates of spaghetti on the coffee table - a joint favorite since their childhood days. 

Mark clears his throat, bringing Donghyuck's focus back to him. "We've been Team Mark and Hyuck for a while now. And I honestly think I've liked you a tiny bit ever since the day you gave me the extra greeting card you had left over from your arts and crafts class in first grade. But the other day at the park-"

"The geese chase day?" Donghyuck questions incredulously.

"Yeah not the most romantic situation, I know. But that's the day, okay, I saw you just standing and laughing, and yeSS you were covered in dirt and yeSS, your hair was an absolute mess; but I kinda felt like a whole truck had hit me, you know? Like one second, I'm just standing there and then suddenly I'm like 'Oh wow, I think I love him'."

Donghyuck tries not to let his breath hitch at that, but he fails miserably, and Mark just smiles shyly before continuing. 

"Then at one point I just thought, 'Hey you know what? Maybe he likes me too.' And so I decided to do... this, I guess? 

"I know it was all the way back in middle school, but I remembered that one sleepover where you said that your perfect date would be if a guy invites you to his house and you watch Lady and the Tramp and eat good food."

Donghyuck is surprised. He barely remembers telling Mark that himself, and had Mark not brought it up, it would have probably left his mind completely. Mark sees his surprise and starts again, "I know, it's crazy how I remember that, right? I didn't really think I pay that much attention to what you say-" 

"Hey!"

"It's true though! You said what you said and I just listened, but looks like I'm a sap who remembers small things. I guess I've always been paying extra attention to you."

Donghyuck knows his face is flushed by now, but he shrugs off the bashfulness because Mark has the cutest blush on his face too, and they have nothing to hide from each other. 

"Well, back to the point, we live together, so I couldn't just invite you to your own house, and I didn't want to kick you out either. That's why I had to exile you to this room. 

"Anyways. Lee Donghyuck. Will you go out with me?"

And in true Donghyuck fashion, he says 'Duh' but lets Mark give him the sunflowers - "They reminded me of you!" - and lead him by the hand to the living room floor.

 

_Lee Donghyuck is cozy naps on the beds they have now pushed together. Nose kisses. Tickles. Sneaky hand-holding when they're in public._

_But Lee Donghyuck is also a short text message at 3 p.m. that makes Mark stop in his path towards his next class and run straight back to their apartment._

**'mark can you please come home as soon as you can?'**

**'I feel scared and suffocated and just a mess'**

**'and i really just need you'**

[ July 16 ]

Mark can hear Donghyuck crying as soon as he opens the front door. He shuts it behind himself and quickly rushes to the kitchen to find Donghyuck sitting on the ground, broken shaards of porcelain way too close to his left foot for Mark to not be worried. 

He softly pulls Donghyuck away from the mess and into his own embrace, with his back to Mark's chest as Mark sits on the floor behind him. 

"It's okay, Hyuckie, I'm here," Mark says into Donghyuck's hair. He feels Donghyuck breathing heavily in front of him, warm tears dripping onto Mark's hands that lay around his waist. 

Mark doesn't say anything for the longest time and just rubs Donghyuck's hands and tummy and thighs, assuring, "It's okay" into his shoulder while the younger calms down. 

This has happened before back in their senior year of high school, when Mark had come running to Donghyuck's bedroom when he had gotten a text - 'please come over, i feel really bad and scared and need someone'. When Mark had entered his bedroom, Donghyuck had been on his floor, clutching his stomach with tears streaming down his face, and he had looked up at Mark and cried, "I think I'm dying." 

Even back then, Mark had just held him until he had calmed down, all the while crying himself,while eyeing the laptop open on Donghyuck's bed to a college website. Once Donghyuck's breathing had come down to normal and he was no longer letting out heartwrenching sobs, Mark had talked to him in the gentlest voice possible to figure out what had happened. 

It had turned out to be something so simple but something so important. Something so well hidden up by Donghyuck that no one had even thoguht to ask him about it. 

Donghyuck had been struggling with the enormity and obscurity of the world beyond school and the future lying before him. 

"Everyone has everything planned out, they know exactly what they're going to do, step by step. I don't even know what course I want to study. And I'm so embarrassed cuz everyone has this dream and this game plan but I have nothing. No dream, no specific college in mind, _nothing_ prepared, and just- that's bad! I should have figured something out by now. I'm not even that good at anything, would any college even want me?"

After some more crying - on both of their parts - Mark had talked to Donghyuck about everything that had been worrying him. He promised he'd help him figure out courses, colleges, and even help him write the applications. He had reassured him that it was okay to not have his whole life planned out - "You're only 17, Hyuck, you're not supposed to have a master plan to conquer the world just yet." Mark had been the one to tell Donghyuck's parents that he was struggliong badly and needed their support and guidance. He had been the one who had convinced him to at least see the school counsellor in case he wanted professional help. He had promised to stick by Donghyuck's side forever.

Yes, there had been more days when Donghyuck had cried over the phone to Mark or texted Mark about feeling lost and not knowing what to do. And somehow, thankfully, Mark managed to keep Donghyuck grounded every time, be it eleven in the morning or two at night. If Donghyuck needed help, Mark was always there. 

When the two had finally gotten into college, things had started settling down. Donghyuck had ended up falling in love with the course he had chosen - good old English Literature - and was doing great at it. There were one or two calls or texts when Donghyuck felt overwhelmed with things, but it was something the two worked against together, and it never got that bad.

But now here he is again, holding his Donghyuck to his chest, begging to whoever is listening to let Donghyuck calm down and please stop his mind from doing this to him. 

After that first breakdown in Donghyuck's bedroom, Mark had had nightmares where he'd be rushing into Donghyuck's room and the latter would look up at him from the floor and say, "I feel like I'm gonna die," with his voice all choked up and broken. There was this one dream where Donghyuck had fallen asleep in his arms while crying and no matter what Mark did, Donghyuck just _wouldn't_ wake up and-

Mark can feel his throat tightening at the very thought and he forces himself to focus only on the boy in his arms. Mark doesn't keep track of how long they sit like that but soon enough, Donghyuck's softly mumbling about how it's unfair how he poured all his heart and soul and sleep into his recent thesis and he had felt like it had been his best thesis yet, but his professor had given him an average grade claiming that he could have done better. "I have never put as much effort into any other paper before this one, but it's one of my lowest graded papers. And this is the one that's most 'me'. Maybe 'me' isn't the right thing then."

He goes on to spill that he thinks that maybe he isn't actually good at English, which leads him to worry about getting a job if he isn't one of the best. He worries out loud about how he's going to sustain his daily life if he doesn't get a well paying job. He mumbles about how the world is too full of competition and no one's gonna want an average guy, and "Maybe taking literature was just a mistake". 

Donghycuk confesses that this had been on his mind when he had been putting the dishes away and then the mug had just slipped from his hand and his stupid, good for only these sorts of things, literature nerd mind had prompted that it was a metaphor for his life slipping out of his hands. He cries some more when he brings up the literary device. 

As always, Mark lets him cry it out, let all the worries out of his system. Then he reminds him that Literature is a very subjective topic and just because his professor didn't like it doesn't mean that it isn't good. He reassures him that, no, he is not gonna have to live on the streets. Mark whispers that, yes, it is valid for him to be so worried about jobs and that it's only normal, to which Donghyuck sniffles, "But it's stupid cuz i made you miss your class because of," he spreads his arms, "This? This mess of me being dumb." 

Mark, ever patient, consoles him that it isn't dumb, and nothing would be more important that Donghyuck's wellbeing. 

He reminds him of the position for that one magazine that Donghyuck had wanted to try out for after taking up a course in journalism too - "See, Hyuck, you do have a plan. Just keep it in front of your eyes and you don't have to feel this scared and lost." 

Mark adresses each one of Donghyuck's concerns and somewhere between Mark's succour, Donghyuck falls asleep out of exhaustion. So Mark carries him to their bed and tucks him in carefully before cleaning up the broken remains in the kitchen.

 

_Lee Donghyuck is tear stained sweaters. Waking up from nightmares to check if he is okay. Tight hugs on the slightly cold floor of their shared apartment._

_But Lee Donghyuck is also smiles when he gets accepted into the magazine crew. The promise rings he buys for them with his first paycheck. He is dinner dates. Long drives. Stargazing. Walks through empty streets. Nights curled up together in bed._

_Mark Lee is the appointment he fixes up with the psychologist to get a check up on Donghyuck's mental health. The warm hand that waits to hold his the minute the appointment is over. The insecurity he sometimes feels when he bares his raw, scared self. But he is also the comforting hand rubbing his back and the low voice telling him that he will be okay._

_Mark Lee is oversized sweaters. Silky hair between his fingers as the kiss on their couch. Giggles during funny movies. Excited jumping when he sees a dog at the park._

_Mark Lee is Donghyuck's safe place._

_And Lee Donghyuck is the home that Mark comes back to._

**Author's Note:**

> so. back story. basically,,, i don't really tell the people close to me if something's up with me and among many other reasons, one reason is that i'm scared how they'll react. will they look at me weird? will they treat me like im fragile? will they treat me like im weak? will they think im overreacting? and i realized that i might not be able to hide everything from everyone forever. so i wrote this in which, instead of hiding things away forever like me, hyuck lets mark see his struggles, but that doesn't mean mark reduces hyuck to just his breakdowns and a fragile person, and i just think that's very important.  
> does hyuck get diagnosed with a disorder eventually? idk, it's up to you.  
> if someone has a disorder, it's important to understand that that's a part of them but also not just see them as their disorder. if someone isn't diagnosed but still struggles with a lot of things, it's important to not discredit their issues.  
> anyways this is getting really long so i'll end it here. let's hope my next work is a bit brighter like my others ^-^


End file.
